Zombie Outbreak in Tokyo!
Apparently, a disease has been terrorizing the Tokyo community, turning all citizens into bloodthirsty zombies, eager for fresh blood. These zombies have a strange way of sucking your blood. First, they slap your crotch real hard. While you're writhing in pain, they do a CHOP on the back of the neck. Apparently this CHOP kills the immunity nerves that prevent the following disease:
Osteophorinic
Dyslexic
Degenerating
Bionic
Osmosic
Aneroxic
Rehydrating
Disorder
This immunity nerve will explode, causing a combustion in the blood-veins of the neck. The guy who just got CHOPPED will simply vomit blood into the other zombie's mouth. Sounds horrible, but at the same time, comical.
The loss of the immunity nerve will also cause the person who got CHOPPED to want to CHOP someone else, and that someone else will receive the ODDBOARD disease. We believe this disease is man-made. FBI have conducted investigations and have displayed the amount of knowledge they have on this disease to us in an interview. Mr. CHOP has spoken to us.
ODDBOARD: Hi, Mr. CHOP.
Mr. CHOP: Ahh, good evening. I believe you wanted to ask me some questions?
ODDBOARD: Yes, we certainly do.
Mr. CHOP: Oh.
ODDBOARD: We would like to ask you a few questions on the case of the man-made disease in Tokyo.
Mr. CHOP: Ah yes, that terrible incident. I hope it will never happen again.
ODDBOARD: It's happening right now.
Mr. CHOP: Well, I'm speaking as if I have already solved the case, which, in a way, I have. HAHAHA!
ODDBOARD: Well... you seem very confident. You have the cure AND the notes on this man-made disease?
Mr. CHOP: Oh.
ODDBOARD: Oh?
Mr. CHOP: YES I DO. I DO. I HAVE THE CURE RIGHT HERE. IT'S.. RIGHT HERE!
(At this point, Mr. CHOP whipped out a package of instant noodles)
ODDBOARD: Maggi Me?
Mr. CHOP: Yes.
ODDBOARD: Ahh, so it is the instant noodles?
Mr. CHOP: NO. IT IS TEH POWDER. IT IS TEH POWDER THAT WILL CAUSE THE COMBUSTION, CAUSING TEH RETURN OF TEH IMMUNITY NERVES!
ODDBOARD: Aha. So we have the cure. Now do you know how this man-made disease came about?
Mr. CHOP: Some man made it.
ODDBOARD: I mean you know WHO?
Mr. CHOP: Yes.
ODDBOARD: Who?
MR. CHOP: My mother.
ODDBOARD: Ah! That is surprising.
MR. CHOP: AHBLABLABLABLABLAWHACKANSOIDNADWIAOIDNASOIDWANDKLASDNWIANDLKAD!!!
ODDBOARD: Excuse me?
Mr. CHOP: You will have to excuse me. I suffer from the disease named ODDBOARD. Do you know it?
ODDBOARD: :O
Oddboard has also done some investigation, and it appears the answer is simple: The people want to CHOP necks. So what shall we do to cure them? Give them a Chuck Norris figurine! And who created this disease? I believe Mr. CHOP answered that.