Oddboard
Thursday, August 28, 2008

Boy kills best friend!

A 9 year old boy has been arrested for brutally murdering his best friend. His parents freaked out when they saw the charges. When they discovered the truth, they immediately disowned the child. The boy, named Dave MingChang, was brought to the police station to interrogate the child. Here is the interrogation.

Police: Why did you kill this boy?
Dave Mingchang: He stole my damn mickey mouse toy. It was my favourite one too!
Police: So you killed this boy because he stole your toy.
Dave Mingchang: Are you serious? No. I killed him because I wanted to. Got problem ah, officer?
Police: I request you do not speak so rudely to your elders.
Dave Mingchang: Oh yeah? Then why dont you crawl into a hole and just die?
Police: Alright boy, last chance. Why did you kill this boy, really?
Dave Mingchang: Sigh. I killed him because...
Police: Because?
Dave Mingchang: Because you're such a damn loser. Get a life you n00b.
Police: That's it boy. You're going to prison. Tomorrow you'll be shaking hands with your cellmate and I hope it's a gay.
Dave Mingchang: No officer! I'm truly sorry! I'll tell you how I killed him!
Police: You do that, and I might just give you a chance. Now speak.
Dave Mingchang: I killed him because..
Police: Because?
Dave Mingchang: Because you're such a fatass.
Police: Enjoy prison, you dirty little b!tch.
Dave Mingchang: No! No! I'm sorry officer! I'm just being mad! I'll tell you!
Police: SPEAK NOW YOU LITTLE FREAK.
Dave Mingchang: It's because you wet your pants when you saw a unicorn!
Police: AHHHH YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS!
Dave Mingchang: And you're such a baby. Grow up. I killed him because..
Police: ...
Dave Mingchang: Because my mother had an illness, and he..
Police: ...He?
Dave Mingchang: HE SLAPPED YOUR LITTLE FACE!
Police: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Such is the story.


Group of students missing!

Three days earlier, a group of students from moawidjiawijdoij secondary school went on a hiking trip to mount wagahakaloogi, and their trip was scheduled to end in a day. They still have not returned yet. We are missing 42 students, 2 teachers, 4 teddy bears and 1 big pizza that they bought from pizza hut.

One boy, 11 years of age, was calling his parents around the time something happened to him. He was just saying, "Mummy, don't be such a sissy. I can take care of myself. I got my teddy bear and mah bag of sweets. You really shouldn't be such a si--." At this point, there came a great rustling noise, like something jumping out of the bushes. The thing apparently shouted, "I IS GOING TO EET YOOOO!" before launching itself onto everyone and eating their insides. One boy managed to take a picture and send it to someone else before his balls got raped. Here is the monster that supposedly killed the hiking group.





It is extremely ghastly looking, though rather cute at the same time. Everyone best watch out for this massive killer. It may look harmless, but it can pwn your ass black and blue.