Saturday, October 4, 2008
Twit Society Riots!The twit society has elected a new general. This general, named General iieliektotwitnehhxzxz, has declared war over all good English speaking people in Singapore.
The twit society first started when a stupid little ah lian decided to create a whole new way of typing words. Unfortunately, this new way takes more than 2 times the amount of time taken to write a normal sentence. Her first sentence started on the internet, when she posted this.
Tis ishh miie niiuw wae 0f typing w0rds, w0rxxzzxxzzxxzz! Iie hope ue all will als0 type liek dis nehhxzxx. (Man, it took me a whole minute to type that)
One thing led to another, and soon a whole bunch of internet users started displaying the kind of stupidity that can only be displayed when you twit. This is an extremely bad example for new-comers, whom are easily influenced.
Now, General iieliektotwitnehhxzxz has launched a strike on the department of good English speakers in Singapore. They have invaded the little building by sending in twits to write all sorts of things on the walls at night, such as:
Ue gud engrish speakers suckkxz lahhxzxz. Ue style cannot beat 0ur style, okaexzx? Canxz? N0w ue _|_ off plzz.
This has horrified many of the good English speakers, and even influenced some of the weaker ones to join the twit community. The good English speaking general, Mr. Squid, has fought back, bringing together a little group to spam the blogs of the ugly twits.
Now, General iieliektotwitnehhxzxz is preparing another attack on the blogs of the good English speaking community, but with enough effort, we can hold.
As the Dr. Jinx once said, We must work to ERADICATE all twits!
The bad news is that there are more weaklings joining the twit force. It is growing quickly, and it is up to us Anti-Twits to stop them. The good news is that the twits are outstandingly, strikingly, remarkably, extremely and incredibly stupid. No doubt they cannot even comprehend half of what is being posted here.
Remember, say NO to twitting!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
F1 Race Kicks Off!Today, the famous F1 Race began, as 16 racers competed against each other in 61 laps. One of the racers was the extremely famous Mr. Alamakurazinakoreenagachogogogoch, having won 1 race in his entire life, when he was 5 years old. His racing car is streaked with blue and orange, and is possibly the most stylish racing car in the world.
When the light turned green, 2 drivers peed in their pants, wetting the engine works and causing excessive combustion, which obviously led to the explosion of both cars. One went mad with terror and jumped out of the car to do the Cha-Cha. 3 of the racers put their foot on the acceleration pedal so hard it went straight through the wiring, and they got electrocuted. That left 10 racers, who actually were able to start the race off correctly. They raced at high speeds of 15km/h, and 4 on-lookers got hit by one reckless driver. The driver, having found out that he had actually killed the 4 men, jumped in front of a moving car and killed himself.
There was sudden radio static in 3 of the driver's earphones, and they jumped in fright, knocking their heads against their loose helmets and causing instant concussion. By now, Mr. Alamakurazinakoreenagachogogogoch was leading by around 2 seconds. The car behind him was driven by a Mr. Chia Kao Sai. He was determined to overtake the driver in front, and tried to swerve into the corner. Unfortunately, he suddenly saw his old grandma waving at him in the crowd. Actually, the old woman was pointing a middle finger and waving a sign that read: You lose, you suck bananas. Mr. Chia Kao Sai turned pale and crashed into the light stand, getting electrocuted.
Suddenly, when it was just a few laps before the finish, one of the drivers, a Mr. KickCock, injected some hidden nitrous into his engine, increasing his speed by a further 1km/h. But that makes alot of difference! He slowly gained on Mr. Alamakurazinakoreenagachogogogoch, and finally surpassed him. Mr. Alamakurazinakoreenagachogogogoch was so shocked that he had been beaten, that he screamed: WHY?! Most fortunately for him, his voice pattern coincidentally triggered a safe, but powerful internal petrol combustion. His car shot forward with the speed of 17km/h. 17km/h is pretty fast though. He immediately shot past Mr. KickCock, and went flying around the remaining laps to finish the race!
Oh, how the crowd cheered for him. Cries of "Moron" and "Loser" where heard everywhere. Mr. Alamakurazinakoreenagachogogogoch threw up his arms in happiness, and that triggered a little bomb inside his helmet that was planted by one of his rival racers. His head exploded into a million tiny little pieces.
Oh, how the crowd mourned for him. Cries of "Finally, that loser is dead" and "I love you, whoever planted that bomb" were heard everywhere. Mr. KickCock, who is suspected of planting that little bomb inside the helmet, is now detained by the police. As a tribute to the dead Mr. Alamakurazinakoreenagachogogogoch, we post up a little picture of his amazing car.
P.S
I'm not a racing fan, but congratulations to F Alonso.
