Saturday, September 13, 2008
Mas SelamatWe all know the JI leader has escaped long time ago. But not many people know HOW he escaped, so here's the story.
Mas Selamat was in the detention room. This is his conversation with the interrogator.Mas Selamat: I need to piss, man!Interrogator: Okay.
(Leads to the toilet)Interrogator: Okay, piss now.Mas Selamat: My dick has several different kinds of infection. I have to piss in a rather awkward position. Plus, there's also the chance you can get it from me. Why don't you close this door?Interrogator: Okay, closing the door now.(Closes door)Now, Mas Selamat pees on the window. The extra-powerful pee melts the window in seconds. He wriggles through and escapes.The CCTV camera should have caught him. But the camera failed.
How did Mas Selamat escape the police grounds? Well, we believe he disguised himself as a Toilet Man, riding on this contraption:
Thursday, September 11, 2008
School blows up!A school of 1234 students recently blew up. Crime Scene Investigators believe that it is dynamite that blew up the school. They have also discovered a message evidently from the terrorist carved on the body of a 16 year old. Here is the message:I blew up this school because a Mrs. SUCK said to me," You have no brains, you no-brainer."This comment hurt me terribly. My first attempt to kill her failed miserably. I tried to poison her chicken rice with a Skin-Eating virus, only to discover she was immune to Skin-Eating viruses. Then I tried to scare her to death with a fake grenade. She didn't get scared, but she thought it was a piece of mutton pie and ate it up. Nothing happened to her. Then I resolved to violence, trying to punch her in the face. She caught it my fist and shoved it straight back into my mouth. Some students watching laughed at me. I swore revenge and planted some dynamite disguised as toilet paper. Mrs. SUCK took the toilet paper to the toilet. When she unrolled the paper, the dynamite was activated and everyone was blown to hell. I don't care. I'm happy. I also happen to be 4 years old.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I am back and I am ready to kick some balls!New Japanese Live Teddy Bears!The Japanese have recently introduced to the small kids a world of fantasy induced by Live Teddy Bears. The company that created these teddy bears is none other than WeHateTeddyBears, the world's leading teddy bear maker. The Live Teddy Bear can, dance, sing, talk and move like a real life person.
WeHateTeddyBears have also included some special features. You can press a small button in the remote control and the Teddy Bear will open it's mouth. Sharp jagged teeth will come out of it's jaws. Then it will launch itself onto any person below the age of 10 in a 5m diameter, slicing their fingers off and chewing their heads up. You can also press another button, and it will say, "Eat your vegetables or I will personally see to it that your bedroom is stripped of anything resembling a comfort, and that your ears are chewed off."
The Teddy Bear even has a mini MP3 Player inside it, filled with every single heavy metal song and death metal song bound to drive your kid nuts.
Here are some of the phrases that the Live Teddy Bear might say to you if you buy it.
Get a life, you loser.
Give me a lolly, you little brat.
Stop eating that bar of chocolate and come help me kill this ant!
I am a monster, rawr.
I am a ghost, and I will appear in front of you tonight to rip out your guts.
Ugh, get out of the room. I need to take a shit.
Come here so I can slap your face.
Buy it today! Only $49.95! Batteries not included!
P.S.
Live Teddy Bear batteries are one of a kind. They are sold for $195.95 each. The Live Teddy Bear needs 12 of such batteries.
