Oddboard
Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Mas Selamat Captured!

Mas Selamat was seen hanging out at the WeWillGetYouDrunk pub. He was at table nine, drinking a cheap beer. The bartender recognized him a few minutes later, and reported him to the police. The police arrived at the bar 5 hours later to discover the fugitive STILL there! The police immediately hustled him to the police station for an interview.

Interrogator: Where have you been hiding for the past months?
Mas Selamat: Mmmmhmhmmmmm... iiiinnnnn youuurrrr motherrr's kittchen!
Interrogator: I am NOT going to repeat my question.
Mas Selamat: I... bet you will... eh heh heh heh.
Interrogator: Where have you been hiding for the past months?
Mas Selamat: Youuuu... owe me 500 dollars officer... and let me go back to the JI Head Quarters... the only place where you can have REAL brotherhood... gggghhhhheeaaaggghhhh...
Interrogator: And was this your idea of a joke? Posting this Mas Selamat checker on the internet?




Mas Selamat: Mmmmhmmmhmmm, that did get a few good laughs, didn't it? Nnnngggeehehehhhh.

The police could not get anything else out of him, he was too drunk.

Mas Selamat Movie!

The Singapore Film Productions have offered the police 100 grand to release Mas Selamat for a year to shoot a movie called Toilet Break - Mas Selamat, can we catch him, depicting several dumb police officers trying to capture the great hero, Mas Selamat, Lord of the Toilet Breaks. The police force has accepted and the government has approved, so the much anticipated movie is now underway. Be sure to catch it at the nearest Cinema.




Tuesday, October 21, 2008

3 girls kill teacher!

A middle-aged man was found 2 days ago buried in the backyard of a 6 year old girl. The girl, named Barbie, was found guilty of killing the man, who was discovered to be her teacher. She also shouted that her two other friends, Teletubbie and Boohbah, were guilty. "I didn't do nuttin' by mah self you crazy ass fool!" she shouted to the police.

"I mah self was just havin' a little cup o' joe, before these two crazy ass kids come and bury some chopped up body parts into mah backyard! I was gonna spank those two kids, but I noticed some bum meat, and I had to cook that up for supper, maan!"

The police interrogator stared her in the face for 5 seconds before she broke down. "It was me, officer! I did everythin'! No wait, I didn't do nuttin'! It was mah two friends who stole into mah backyard to bury tha body! It wasn't me officer! Uh uh!" The police stared her in the face for another 5 seconds. "Okay okay officer. For pete sakes, you make it look so disastrous! We only killed him for his Britney Spears autograph! See see, we have it!"

At this point, she waved a peachy card in front of the interrogator's face, with Britney's autograph on it. Now for Teletubbie's interview.

Interrogator: Did you kill this man?
Teletubbie: I want a cookie.
Interrogator: Did you kill this man?
Teletubbie: I want to sweep the floor.
Interrogator: Answer me, you little crackadoodle.
Teletubbie: I want to bang my head against the wall.
Interrogator: I'll give you a good cup of jelly beans if you tell me.
Teletubbie: Me and my two friends killed him for his Britney autograph. We buried his body in Barbie's backyard and we then had some good butt meat for supper.

Boohbah's interview had around the same results. These three girls will be sent to Beverly Hills to live, for winning the prize for the youngest girls to intentionally kill a man. They will have a penthouse each, with 88 million dollars to spend, plus 15 toy boys each. Lucky dogs.